You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
