Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
