That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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