So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
