garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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