I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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