So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
