im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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