And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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