he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
