ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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