Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize