I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
