Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
