She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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