Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
