I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
