its not stalking. its research.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
