thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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