Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
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She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize