I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
