oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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