The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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