addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
