I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
