i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
