Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
