Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize