Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
