he thought i was a dude.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
