Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize