Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
