"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
