I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
