One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
