just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
