im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize