I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What a dumb baby whore.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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