id be glad to
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You've changed since you got that strap on
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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