i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
