need another drink. this is the easiest way
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
