Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign