Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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