Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize