I wanna passion pit in your ass
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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