Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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