I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can text with my tongue
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
