Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
