I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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