Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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