how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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