I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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