and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So vagazzling was a success
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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