so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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