Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize