My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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